Kenya Safari. The Good. The Bad. And Should You Be Scared?
Ā By Marie, CEO of JetLife Vacations
Voted Best Travel Agency 4 Years in a Row
š Read Our Reviews on Google



First Things First...
Let me start by saying this: Kenya Safari is one of the BEST vacations Iāve ever been on. Period. Pair it with Zanzibar and baby... chefās kiss. š BUT just because I loved it, doesnāt mean you will. And if youāre gonna show up mad, complaining, or bringing weird energy on MY vacation? Please respectfully stay home. š«¶š½
š¦ THE GOOD STUFF
Letās get into what makes this a trip you'll never forget (and not just cuz of the jet lag):
šš½ Itās Giving... Holy Spirit, Activate
Iām talkinā tingles.
The kind you get in a new relationshipāor when āNever Would Have Made Itā plays and you feel the presence of every ancestor that fought for you to see this view.
You will cry. You will clutch your chest. You will whisper, āWow⦠thank you, God.ā
š Animals in Their Natural Vibe
Youāre not at a zoo. Youāre in the bush.
Baby giraffes. Elephant families. Zebras pulling up to the water like itās happy hour.
And get this ā the vegetarian animals eat together first, while one of them stands guard. They move like a community. A tribe. Then the carnivores come through after. Youāll watch this every night like itās Netflix.
One morning I watched a lioness walk silently across the horizon, call out once, and three cubs came tumbling out of the tall grass like they knew it was breakfast time. Thatās the kind of stuff you donāt forget.



š Sunset + Wine = Everything
Daytime? HOT AF.
Nighttime? Chilly, cozy, and perfect for sipping wine by the fire as the sun dips into the savannah. The sky turns this deep burnt orange and you just sit there stunned.
Even as a Dubai & Thailand girlie who loves energy⦠Kenya is nothing but a divine, quiet, spiritual flex.



š Tents Nicer Than Your Apartment
Yes, itās a tentābut baby itās luxury. Clean bathrooms, comfy beds, no raggedy vibes.



š½ Gourmet Food + Bush Wine Nights
Meals? Chef-cooked.
Spa time? Included.
Wine? Well⦠we drank the whole damn bar and poor Alfred had to fly to Nairobi to restock us. (Yes, a 30-min flight. Yes, just for wine. Yes, weāre that kind of group.)
Picture this: itās 2:00 AM in the bush, weāre playing cards, passing popcorn, arguing over whoās cheating in spades.. and the staff is right there vibing with us like family. Itās not just luxuryāitās connection.
š£ The Maasai Tribe Experience
Listen. You will learn:
- More cows = More wealth. Period.
- Sparkly white teeth? Brushed with leaves.
- Those high jumps? A ceremony to win over a woman.
- Yes, that warrior really has 5 wives. And yes, heās handling all of them.
- Women build the houses⦠with cow dung and dirt. Donāt knock it.
š And donāt even THINK about haggling their beadwork down to $5. The tribe will politely tell you to keep it moving. They know their worth, and I love that.
But the most mind-blowing moment?
Seeing kids walk through lion territory like itās a sidewalk.
I was shook. But the tribe elder calmly told me: āWe donāt bother them, they donāt bother us.ā
Whew. Powerful.






š¬ THE NOT-SO-CUTE PARTS (But Still Worth It)
Letās keep it real...
1. The Wi-Fi Is Ghetto
You will disconnect whether you like it or not. This aināt no influencer trip with ring lights and 5G. Deal with it.
2. That Little-Ass Prop Plane
If you have prop plane trauma like me⦠whew.
My first time, I was cool. Until the pilot said, āZebra Plains, yāall are stop number FIVE.ā
Girl. Itās like a bus route in the sky. We went up and down 5 times. Every time I say never again⦠and yet, Iāve been 4 times. š (Take a Xanax. Youāll live.)
3. The Darkness Hits Different
At night? Itās BLACK.
And quiet. Like, hear-a-cricket-fart quiet.
Then you hear something moving outside the tent and your brainās like, āSo this is how I die.ā Youāre not in danger, but your imagination will absolutely betray you.
4. HOTTER THAN FLORIDA IN JULY
Pack light. And I donāt mean luggage.
5. No TV in the Tents
You thought you were gonna binge āLove & Hip Hopā? LOL.
If you didnāt download your stuff or bring a book... itās just you, the stars, and maybe a hyena hollerinā



šØ Should You Be Scared?
Nah. Youāre good.
Youāll have a warrior assigned to you.
I was terrified my first time so this man literally stood outside my tent all night.
Kenya donāt play about safety.
š What to Pack (From a Real One)
- High-Powered Personal Fan ā $40 and your best friend.
- Military-Grade Mosquito Spray ā Not Dollar Tree. Real DEET.
- Snacks ā Donāt judge me.
- Movies + Books + Playing Cards ā Aināt no Netflix.
- RED CLOTHING ā No green, no camo. Thatās hunting gear. Red is what the tribe wears, and thereās a reason theyāve had zero incidents.
⨠FAQ: Quick Safari Answers
Is it safe?
Yep. Youāll be assigned a warrior and travel with experienced guides at all times.
Is it luxury?
Yes maāam. Chef-cooked meals, spa time, gorgeous tents, and views for days.
Is it scary at night?
A little ā but only in your head. You're surrounded by trained staff and Maasai warriors.
Can I finance it?
Absolutely. Affirm-friendly. Zero down. No payments for 30 days. Monthly payments around $100 depending on what you choose (subject to eligibility).
šØ Itās Never Too Late ā Because JetLife Offers Travel Now, Pay Later
š³ Zero down
ā³ No payments for 30 days
š„ Up to 2 years to pay
š Call 727-498-7636 to get started
Book today, gone tomorrow.
š Why JetLife Kenya?
Because weāve been there, done that ā and didnāt just go for Instagram.
Weāve personally vetted every lodge, met the staff, eaten the food, tested the beds, and watched the sunset from every corner of the Mara.
We donāt play when it comes to luxury or loyalty.
Vendors and lodges beg us to visit and promote them... but if we wouldnāt sleep there ourselves, itās a hard NO.
We only ride for places we trust with our name and your experience.
š„ 8 Lodges. Handpicked.
From:
-
āGet Your Feet Wetā intro-level luxury
to - āGirl, Give Me the Glamā ā the private pools, the turn-down service, the chef on standby, and yes, pass the champagne please.
Whatever your vibe ā bush baby or bougie baddie ā we got a tent with your name on it.
JetLife Kenya is TRUSTED, LOVED, and TRIED & TRUE.
If I canāt represent a vacation with my eyes closed, weāre not going.
READY TO GO?
CLICK HEREĀ https://jetlifevacation.com/pages/rob-the-ranger
Voted BEST Travel Agency in Tampa Bay 4 years straight ā and it wore us out too. š®āšØ šš½ www.jetlifevacation.com
š² Letās Connect
Got a question about what to bring? Donāt want to be the one holding up the line at check-in?
We got you.š Call us: 727-498-7636
š Visit JetLifeVacations.com
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